#12: The push-pull battle.

(beware: do NOT look for sense, logic and the like)

After the last piece on how writing can get tedious, there is no need to ponder over why my update took so long to shape up. Agreed, closing on a topic is a Herculean task, but oh dear, the next phase eludes Mr. Hercules too!

Say you do eventually make peace with the irresolute(the intransigent greys) on what to write about, the extrasensory perceptions get ready to thwart upon thee as much as they can. Some push you so hard you might end up considering a course in literature, while the others pull you back arousing the hedonist inside(o who cares if the world is unlucky to relish thine virtuoso) . And there the battleground stays put for the push and the pull.

The main contender from the pushy side is the need for a vent. These days, the world has become so numb physically that to poke or to tweet, you need a network. In the milieu of such dire circumstances, its both pragmatic and efficient to make your point on a similar forum. There is a chance you could remain unheard but hey, you did blurt it out. A rare subordinate at times could be the passion to write, where there are people who want to write just for the sake of it - and am not talking about those who take up writing as an art.

The pullers, on the other hand, consist of the unremitting showers of lassitude, making you distend and fall back onto the bed to shut them up. These are the monolithic fighters that one cant generally beat. Wonder how the inveterately pushed(avid bloggers) arent so sentient. Another player is one who works with the 'Dravidian' reference frame, where everything around seems to be going fast enough except you. Once you start looking at your writing from this frame, trust me, there is no way you will see the pavilion. This can easily make the pull win without any effort. The other members are those when you start hating the topic you chose after a little dive, or maybe when you love it so much that that you fail to express it.

The result of this battle, quite often, is trivial but it could get atypical at times like these when the push takes over. :) and So..
Here you go, phew! (thanku thanku.. a sublime moment! :P)

See you again when my push wins!
Shampoo

#11: How difficult it is to write.

[Un]Fortunately, one of my friends had to write an article for one of our magazines. How does that matter to me? Come on, I am not one of that kind who would worry about others’ jobs. Else what? Well, fortune kicked me out and took him in when he got a call from the IIMs and had to leave. And the rest is mere trivia that I do not want to explain here as people already think I am verbose. :\ I D C D anyway.

Initially hyper-excited, thanks to a few written flukes in a course, I promised him that I will write an article in place of him in a day or two. Boo! Then started my journey to the No Man’s Land. (Don’t go trolling about the man-woman concept now, I am already vexed enough.) So, I started ‘brain storming’ about the topics to write. Before I tell you what all ideas ‘possessed’ me, its my duty to warn you that I have some very weird qualities and Its OK to have them – and I am perfectly sane for all those who think it is gonna be lame, see I started to rhyme, and plz I don’t need a dime(have patience brats!). 

First and the foremost, I have a very uncanny habit of giving anything and everything I see, a twisted philosophical touch and feel extremely bewildered about the realization. Add to it, all the psychology I learnt in two courses. My thoughts found a new vent and boom! It started with a friend talking about how bad and sad her life is. After giving her an enlightening lecture till she threw me out of the room, I decided to write on “Life and how people percieve it”. (heavy sigh- :\) I started with “Oh God! Why did you give me this life?” and surprisingly ended it there as I couldn’t think of which of the myriad number of instances I should quote. Damn.

The next thing that makes my hair go hay-wire is when I hear about prodigies who achieved so much in life at a very early stage. I sense a mixture of envy, jealousy and all such –nessnessness feelings in myself at that point. And those are what led to me to write on “Why couldn’t I have done it?” And with a strong push of adrenaline, I started – “I donno about you but whenever I have an encounter with facts like these, I am no more what I was the second before- one would find me go silent and numb for a few seconds- in a state of deep self analysis that WHY I am not like them. After a lot of - ”?????  After a lot of what?! @#!@!#! EnougH! Period.

Installing a last ray of hope in my otherwise ‘blue-dead’ system, the feminist inside me spoke and said – ‘Being a girl’. And then I waited on and on and on. It did not speak again.

Then I tried putting a stop to my grey cells which were apparently turning gray :( But still, they didn’t listen to me. Things ranging from – ‘A Jekyll and Hyde Realization’, which was supposedly supposed to be on the different angles in a person inspired from a course, ‘The Hype tributes to Celebs’ on why the celebrities are hyped so much when they in reality are simply doing their work like anyone to abstract stuff like ‘etymology of words’, which I guess GRE prep gave me and then to ‘solace in solitude’, on how and what different people do to win over solitude, and to even worser ones where I ran the whole wide circle and ran back to pavilion into philosophy. 

After all this drama, a brilliant idea finally came to me- and that was.. to search on the internet! (:\ yea, it seemed brilliant then) And so I went ‘onto’ the internet and searched, never did I even dream I would do it, but I did about ‘Topics to write’ and Ka-boom! A flood of them out there like ‘How I use Facebook’(yeah right!), ‘Ten Guiltiest Pleasures’(pardon me! WhAt!), ‘Who knows me best?’, ‘An unforgettable dream’and then URGH!!!

Then at that point I felt it. Infact, I knew it from long. The ugly blatant truth. It is very difficult to write. A final Period.

Abbreviations: I D C D: I Don’t Care a Damn; Courtesy: ask any ’12,iith being.